There is beauty in the brokenness...

Hand surgery was a success. Came home with a simple bandage, able to use it without much restriction.HOWEVER, (there is almost ALWAYS a However) 2 weeks after surgery, on June 9th I fell. On my way to San Diego with my parents, sister and niece we stopped to get gas. I was walking from point A to point B and instead of going around a small wall, I attempted to step up the wall. My left hip gave out on me and I fell down. Landing on my hands and knee. The moment I fell I KNEW. I broke my "good" hand. Of course. I injured my newly fixed hand a tad too. I spent the next 3 days icing my hands and limping around with a sore hip. I followed up with my hand doctor as soon as I got home and sure enough I broke my left thumb. Plus I now sport a lump under the surgery site and it is still swollen and hard. With time it should heal.

A week after I fell and broke my hand, I tripped on small ledge in a parking lot. I immediately KNEW that I tore something in my hip. Oh the pain. I called my hip surgeon and was able to get right in to see him. He did his exam and decided I was wrong, I didn't tear anything. I begged him for a MRI and he reluctantly agreed. The results of the MRI?

Interval progression of mild left gluteus medius insertional tendinosis with interval development of small interstitial partial thickness tears of its anterior insertion.




In short, I broke my butt!



I had a 3-4 inch tear in the butt muscle. My doctor said it would heal on its own and there was nothing I could do for it. I PUSHED for physical therapy. He reluctantly agreed. For six weeks I went to pt twice a week, in addition to pt, James and I walked, hiked or rode bikes 5 days a week. I tried really hard. I pushed myself through so much pain. My hip and my knee (from an injury a year ago) continued to cause problems. I finally ended up using a knee brace anytime we were active. I returned to my doctor and he basically informed me he was done with me and referred me to his partner. I saw the new doctor a week later and he declared with 100% certainly that I would only heal with surgery. So over 3 months after injury I had surgery to repair the tear. Surgery was 10 days ago.

Next week I see my knee specialist. I have been checking in with him periodically regarding my knee and kneecap. The MRI of it (a year ago) said I had instability and a tilted knee cap. I did have nearly 3 months of pt. Time was suppose to heal it, but with activity it just got worse. I wouldn't be surprised to have surgery scheduled soon.


Also next week, I get to meet my NEW RHEUMY!! I have such HIGH hopes for this appointment.

Later this month, after I figure out what the plans are for my knee, I have to have a revision surgery on my right pinkie. The sagital band needs to be tightened a bit. There is much clicking when I use my pinkie. And after a period of using, like when crocheting, it will lock and I have to massage it to move it again. Fun times.

I TRY my best to not question the why's. I TRUST that GOD KNOWS my story. I am learning so much recently about myself, about MY faith. I am growing daily in my relationship with God. And am excited to start documenting this part of me too! There is HOPE in our tomorrow's.



"Life isn't suppose to be easy. Life is hard. Very hard. But there is so much beauty in those dark valleys. I believe God gives us more than we can handle, so that we are broken and have no choice but to rely on Him. I understand you are struggling and feel so very alone. And I am so sorry. My heart really is broken for you. But death in "your time" isn't the answer. Ever." -Me

How does time fly?

I know I say this all too often, but I can't believe how time has flown by. I keep promising myself I will post often and then MONTHS fly by and life goes on. So lets see if I can get caught up a bit. Bullet point style:

• My hand healed great. I have amazing PT support! Every so often it starts to tighten up, but as long as I massage it and loosen the scar tissue up all is good.
• My knee still has some issues. It likes to give out every so often and it loves to swell. But recovery can easily take up to a year. 
• My hip never got better. We thought the knee was causing hip issues, or maybe arthritis. But it turned out I had a tear that needed to be repaired. However, it was too damaged and the surgeon was only able to clean up the fibers. It has healed great, except for the groin area. Still lots of pain there.
• During the MRI for my hip, the radiologist discovered that my cyst on my right ovary was still present. We are keeping tabs on it, might have to have it removed, at some point.
• Also found on my MRI was a mass in my lower back. After a repeat MRI to get a closer look, it was determined to be a Tarlov cysts. The doctor isn't too concerned, but we will be keeping an eye on it and monitoring my pain.
• I have had 2 failed epidural shots into my lower back. And 1 successful facet joint injection.
• I have maxed out my Lyrica dosage and determined that I didn't get any good results from it. Just gained a ton of weight. So I self tapered myself off of it and feel much better!! 
• We bought bikes for James and Me and the kids have hand me down bikes. We take family rides often.

Do you see that last bullet point? I am active! I am exercising! We ride several times a week and average 8 miles a ride. Crazy!! Even though I still struggle with several things, this is the BEST I have felt in years!

My sweet family is doing good. Better then good! We are Exceptional!

Something new....

This week has been exhausting. I knew it would be when I reviewed the calendar last weekend. It was full of day to day stuff, doctors appointments, the children's sports, and youth group. For the average gal this would just be tiring, but I am not average. I suffer from a handful of illnesses that make things much more difficult. On top of being physically busy, my mind has been pre-occupied with health issues.

Last week I picked up a copy of my medical records from the rheumatologist that I fired. I have an appointment with  a new doctor in December (of course it takes months and months to get in with a specialist, sigh). The first thing I did when I got home was read my records. There weren't many pages to it since I had only seen this particular doctor a few times. Nothing was out of the ordinary, that is until I got to the very last page. An MRI report that I had done last August. Last, as in the year 2010. That is 13 months ago. An MRI I had done of my brain. Incidentally, that same day I also had an MRI of my spine that I was unable to complete due to an overwhelming feeling of suffocating. Anywho, this particular report of my Brain showed abnormalities. Hmm, that is strange since my neurosurgeon never mentioned anything. I clearly remember last year when my neurosurgeon called with the results of this MRI. He left a voice mail stating that I had a brain, (it is always funny when surgeons try to be funny!). There was some evidence of some swelling. Let me back up just a moment and tell you the reason I had this particular MRI.  It was because I had a c5-c6 fusion at the end of June and a few days prior to the MRI I smacked my head on the car jam, resulting in a concussion.  Because of the brand new hardware in my neck, the Massive headache smacking my head caused and some new tingling in my arms...the MRI was ordered. My neurosurgeon suggested I rest lots and asked me to see my neurologist.

Neither of these experts ever mentioned that my MRI CLEARLY showed findings of mild Chiari Malformaion I. In a nutshell, Chiari malformation (kee-AHR-ee mal-for-MAY-shun) is a condition in which brain tissue protrudes into your spinal canal. It occurs when part of your skull is abnormally small or misshapen, pressing on your brain and forcing it downward. Chiari malformation is uncommon, but improved imaging tests have led to more frequent diagnoses. The adult form, called Chiari malformation type I, develops as the skull and brain are growing. As a result, signs and symptoms may not occur until late childhood or adulthood.

Um what? How in the world did that pass by my doctors? Well let me tell you. I called my NS as soon as I could breathe again and his reply, through his assistant, was that because it said mild he was unconcerned. And also, because it was found on a brain MRI and not a cervical MRI. Hmm.... I have several issues with this response. From the research I have done, and oh boy have I done my research, showing Chiari on a MRI is so important! With these findings and with the many symptoms I have this needed to be addressed!. Chiari does not go away, it progresses and there is NO CURE. The doctor should have taken into account that I can check of a majority of the symptoms. The doctor should have at least mentioned it to me and told me to be aware of this situation and come in if any new symptoms arise. The doctor should have at least told me to come in for another MRI in a year or two. But no. He choose to ignore these findings. Period. He took away my right to be knowledgeable about MY BODY. The doctor should have reread my MRI of my spine, from May of 2010, where it is noted that I have low lying cerebellar tonsils.

What am I going to do with all this information?

With the knowledge of the mild Chiari Malformation I: I will continue to obsess, err education myself. Continue to be aware of my headaches, numbness and tingling of my face, pressure in my brain and neck, balance issues and a myriad of other symptoms. I will seek the expert opinions of other professionals, maybe someone who has dealt with this condition a bit more than my current doctor.

With the knowledge that my doctor discarded something so important: This one I will have to think about. I liked this doctor. For the most part. I remember feeling "dismissed" after my fusion. That the headaches and other issues I had were "in my head". sigh

This was just one small portion of my busy medical week. I also had my first Physical Training appointment for my right knee. I met my new Primary Care Physician this week. I liked her! I had a follow-up appointment with my hand surgeon. And I scheduled my 7th surgery in less then 3 years.

TGIF!