Thursday, October 9, 2014

There is beauty in the brokenness...

Hand surgery was a success. Came home with a simple bandage, able to use it without much restriction.HOWEVER, (there is almost ALWAYS a However) 2 weeks after surgery, on June 9th I fell. On my way to San Diego with my parents, sister and niece we stopped to get gas. I was walking from point A to point B and instead of going around a small wall, I attempted to step up the wall. My left hip gave out on me and I fell down. Landing on my hands and knee. The moment I fell I KNEW. I broke my "good" hand. Of course. I injured my newly fixed hand a tad too. I spent the next 3 days icing my hands and limping around with a sore hip. I followed up with my hand doctor as soon as I got home and sure enough I broke my left thumb. Plus I now sport a lump under the surgery site and it is still swollen and hard. With time it should heal.

A week after I fell and broke my hand, I tripped on small ledge in a parking lot. I immediately KNEW that I tore something in my hip. Oh the pain. I called my hip surgeon and was able to get right in to see him. He did his exam and decided I was wrong, I didn't tear anything. I begged him for a MRI and he reluctantly agreed. The results of the MRI?

Interval progression of mild left gluteus medius insertional tendinosis with interval development of small interstitial partial thickness tears of its anterior insertion.

In short, I broke my butt!

I had a 3-4 inch tear in the butt muscle. My doctor said it would heal on its own and there was nothing I could do for it. I PUSHED for physical therapy. He reluctantly agreed. For six weeks I went to pt twice a week, in addition to pt, James and I walked, hiked or rode bikes 5 days a week. I tried really hard. I pushed myself through so much pain. My hip and my knee (from an injury a year ago) continued to cause problems. I finally ended up using a knee brace anytime we were active. I returned to my doctor and he basically informed me he was done with me and referred me to his partner. I saw the new doctor a week later and he declared with 100% certainly that I would only heal with surgery. So over 3 months after injury I had surgery to repair the tear. Surgery was 10 days ago.

Next week I see my knee specialist. I have been checking in with him periodically regarding my knee and kneecap. The MRI of it (a year ago) said I had instability and a tilted knee cap. I did have nearly 3 months of pt. Time was suppose to heal it, but with activity it just got worse. I wouldn't be surprised to have surgery scheduled soon.

Also next week, I get to meet my NEW RHEUMY!! I have such HIGH hopes for this appointment.

Later this month, after I figure out what the plans are for my knee, I have to have a revision surgery on my right pinkie. The sagital band needs to be tightened a bit. There is much clicking when I use my pinkie. And after a period of using, like when crocheting, it will lock and I have to massage it to move it again. Fun times.

I TRY my best to not question the why's. I TRUST that GOD KNOWS my story. I am learning so much recently about myself, about MY faith. I am growing daily in my relationship with God. And am excited to start documenting this part of me too! There is HOPE in our tomorrow's.

"Life isn't suppose to be easy. Life is hard. Very hard. But there is so much beauty in those dark valleys. I believe God gives us more than we can handle, so that we are broken and have no choice but to rely on Him. I understand you are struggling and feel so very alone. And I am so sorry. My heart really is broken for you. But death in "your time" isn't the answer. Ever." -Me

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