Friday, September 16, 2011

I have value

Starting a new blog is very intimidating for me. I have another blog, that I used to journal on, but I took a long break and found it difficult to return to that particular place. That time in our life was difficult. And moving forward sometimes requires a fresh start. But looking at the blank box and actually putting down letters to form words is scary!

In my personal life I feel judged. Judged by family, acquaintances, face book friends, fellow church members....everyone. But I need to learn that more then likely the majority of those people I worried about, don't even think of me. I am just someone they know, a friend in passing. It is amazing how much credit we give to the people around us, when in reality we need to only be worried about ourselves and God. What does HE think of my actions, my thoughts, my choices? And how do those actions, thoughts and choices effect ME and my household?

I long to share what I deal with on a day to day basis. But, when I start to write I feel like I am complaining. But you know what? I am not a complainer by nature so why would I start now? But life is not rosy. It is gray. Full of medical drama and family drama. Raising 3 teenagers is bound to be dramatic. I also feel that I should have a theme, but that isn't happening. My mind is in too many places to settle on one topic! Man I have "over thought" this space! lol. But I am determined to do this. To journal my life. To mark the passing of time. And if I am judged, then so be it. I am worthy of having my thoughts "spoken aloud". I have value.

My journey begins. Whatever road my future holds, it will be shared.

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